Help me put my family back together

Hello everyone,

My name is Faye. I am 33 years old this year and live in a small neighborhood, Bedok, in Singapore.

This is more of an elderly neighborhood. I lived here my whole life. Bedok always seems to be in the news. People abandoning children, committing suicide etc. We are simple folks just living here. Life is tough but I'm happy.

I go to work in a company where they strive to bring a better living in everyday life to everyone. It is quite ironic that it is not the case for me.

Today my family is tearing apart because of me. I give them so many problems just because I am broke. I wish to get things done but without funds it makes it very hard.

I just hope to make them happy. I don't know where to start, I need daily expenses for food and bus fare.

I need daily expenses for food and bus fare

My work staff restaurant charges $3 for a meal every day. I work 20 days = $60.

I usually cook at home, groceries will cost me around $100.

1) pasta $1.80 per packet, probably need about 3-4 packets.

2) broccoli $10, like once a week. Cost around 2.50 per broccoli.

3) milk and eggs for breakfast, each packet of meadow milk is $1.95. 2 per week for cereal. Eggs cost around $2 per box. My job requires a lot of lifting carrying I need to have enough nutrients to not feel hungry and work efficiently.

4) miscellaneous, oats biscuits bread coffee.

I usually just take the feeder bus and catch the shuttle bus to work. Since recently I have no money to top up my bus card I've been living with coins and it is going cost me a lot more ... I hope I can top up my bus card. $30 will be sufficient. Round trip: $1.50 per day, 20 days of work.

Why is my family tearing apart?

So why do I cause distress to my family? My dad earns a meagre salary. My mum is a housewife with schizophrenia. My sister is 31 years old but stays home as she has borderline personality disorder. There is another bad voice. She keeps cutting herself. She feels that my parents don't love her and simply left her to die but that's not true. But indeed they are so scared of her they stay away. I become the middle man to help ease things.

If I am bothered by money, it will trigger her. I asked my brother to help give expenses to my mum, but he replied that he is broke too and ask me to get money from my sister. Since my sister is at home not working, her savings are depleting as well.

I'm just in a dilemma hence all the problems and distress. If I am fine, my mum's fine with money, my sister will be fine, happy and not want to die so soon. I am really scared she will kill herself. I cried whole day. Please help me out guys.

Time is running out. I am selling a thing a day to get by and not get money from my mum.

I hope I can get help as soon as possible. Very much appreciated.