Getting back on my feet after long term depression

hello everyone 

Firstly thank you for taking the time reading my story 

My Name is Lee a 41 year old who has been living in the Philippines for over 13 years for the purpose of starting a new life away from my country ( United Kingdom ) 

I have been suffering with depression since my teen years mainly due to family life partly due to my mother walking out at a young age and my father not coping as well as a single parent .

Also my school life had seriously taken its toll on my teen years as I was in a boarding school from the age of 11 until 16 and experience some emotional abuse from teachers and care staff as well as bullying that had caused me a great deal of stress and had negative effect on my grades  

After leaving school i started a job that only lasted about 1 month due to my emotional state I think going into the real world had triggered something i then seen my doctor who diagnosed me with signs of depression and had been put on tablets but as time time by it seemed I was living a life on auto pilot having ups and downs to the point I started drinking 

I had left my country in 2008 for a new life abroad I figured it was time to try something new and escape the reminders and triggers that I had in my own country .. life in a new country had improved my health in a big way it improved my asthma and cut down on my yearly fevers that unused to get at least e times a year in UK now I rarely get 1 a year  and being in a new country has surely helped me with my depression.as my drinking has dramatically dropped to a level seen as responsible drinking my moods changes for the better and I had a purpose in life as I met a woman got married and had a whole new family that welcomed me with open arms and for the first 6 years everything was good and then me and my wife split up mainly due to pressures from her family and then other negative attitudes from her family started being directed at me that eventually pushed me to do one of the hardest things ever to turn my back on my 2 sisters inlaw who have been a rock during my first years with them and was very close and due to some of the negative attitudes pushed me away from them and that was heart breaking to walk away and turn my back on them because I treated them as if they was my true sisters 

After that I moved on and went back to building my life again me and the wife have remained friends and still communicate  but all in all life slowly got hard again to the point I started boozing got emotional not knowing what to do next and also rarely leave the apartment unless it's for food  and this went on like an auto pilot situation until 2020 I had to vacate the apartment I was living in I stayed in a guesthouse that should of only been for 1 month until I found a new place and covid struck and the stress got to me as I was trapped in a place that should of only been temporary but ended up being 7 months eaten all my savings and finally when lockdown was lifted I found a new property cheap rent but forced to borrow money to pay the advance and ever since it's been a struggle and in January 2021 I went to see a doctor who has been a godsend and helped me out by having regular talks and prescribed  me meds she had diagnosed that my depression never actually went away but I am suffering with suppressed depression based on the symptoms I explained such as loss of interest in things I enjoy even loss of interest in the bedroom department 

So for the past year it's been a battle to get my mental strength back and I am finding it so difficult as it's put me in a situation where I don't want to be and that is getting behind on bills mainly because I am paying for medication I have borrowed to pay off bills that accumulated...and things got worse recently due to a super typhoon that stopped my small income die to power outage and down internet

My current goal now is to get back on my feet I need to maintain my medication  I have been advised I should attend a gym but most of all my goal is to settle my debits accumulated due to the issues I have faced  and get back on an even footing where I can be free of debit free of stresses and do more to improve my living conditions such as new bed and other much needed things to make my home a real home again

I have a second goal in this and that is to donate some of my raised funds to the medical center that had been helping me as they also depend on support to give support so as a way of saying thanks I would like to give a little back

And my ultimate goal would be to share my experience with others in the near future I been wanting to raise awareness relating to mental health issues and possibly set up a support group as this is something that is lacking here both support groups and awareness 

Hopefully this will be something I can achieve at a later date after getting my self on track and  researching the legal side of it as

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time in reading my story I hope it all makes sense and I am sorry if my words are not so good I'm not used to writing my own story.

Once again thank you for your time please take care and keep safe 

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