I have a great fear about the future and safety of my family

I am Fathima Kifa, a 26 years old mother with a daughter and a son in my belly. I live in Gampola, in the Central Province of Sri Lanka. My little daughter and I must live a very sad life in the mist of many problems.

I got a very good secondary education and passed the A / L examination, later I worked as an English teacher before marriage. The boyfriend -who befriended me during I was schooling-, started forcing me to get married and started harassing me while I was hoping for the exam results. He even threatened to marry him soon. He did so because he knew very well that there was no male in the family to take care of us. No matter how many threats he made, suspecting that I would leave the university. At his insistence, however, I decided to marry him three years ago, because I trusted, this is the best decision I can make. Well, I was young and naïve.

A few days before my marriage, I received a letter informing me that I had been selected for the University of Peradeniya. But my husband was most despicably opposed to this promised university education. No matter how much I begged, he did not change his decision. He forced me to stay at home, do not go to study, neither to work. Gradually the problems between us started to increase with the conception of a child in my womb. Now our daughter is three years old. She has to be sent to preschool next year. My husband does not even have the ability or desire to meet our basic needs. I am now pregnant with our second child, who is due to be born in January and I have a great fear and uncertainty about the future of us.

We live in very poor conditions. Due to Covid, my husband`s salary was lowered from 5 dollars to 3.5 dollars a day (he works 12 hours a day), that is -even in Sri Lanka- just enough to survive. His salary is not enough to pay for food, medicine, clothes, and electricity bills. I need to buy baby clothes for my son, food for us, everything needed for a newborn baby. I`m having a huge pain inside my heart, I cannot forget what is around me and don`t remember how to be happy. I have so many things to do but cannot start anything without money. Sometimes I beg my husband to buy my medicines, remind him more than 20 times about it. So, these things hurt me a lot. I often get sick because of overthinking and worrying. The three of us sleep on the floor on a well-used mattress, there is only one blanket for the three of us. Due to my pregnancy, I often have a backache sleeping on the floor and waking up often having a cold when that blanket is used by my daughter or husband. We have no fridge, so I can prepare mostly very simple potato and rice dishes only. Meat, fruit, and other vegetable have only in very special occasions. My daughter and I have regular health problems due to lack of vitamins and dehydration.

My husband threatens to divorce me if I make any request from him or advise him. If he divorces me, my children will have to live or die on the side of the road. My husband treats me like a slave because he knows, what danger of divorcing means to a Muslim woman here. There is no care in Sri Lanka for a single mother and no hope for us to survive. I have to depend on him.

My daughter and I are always in our house with the door closed, like prisoners in our room. This has unfortunately affected my daughter's mental health as well as her speech. All these problems put me into depression and other health problems, where I always imagined quitting my life to find peace - suicidal thoughts often ran across my mind! Luckily, I met a very good friend who always motivated me to get out of these negative thoughts and showed me the value of life and asked me to start a new life with my daughter. He is now helping me to set up this funding page.

This money would help me to pay rent for the next months, buy some second-hand baby clothes and some furniture. I would be able to buy some blankets or even a small fridge! The comfort of my daughter and son is very important for me but without your help, I am unable to give them what they need. Thank you.

I would be happy if you could use the [Help by sharing] button to share about my project!